從悲劇中學習
2012年1月11日
留日男學生手刃兩位女性同學最後自刎而死，好端端三位充滿希望與擁有大好前途的年輕人就如此斷送生命，留下的是流不完淚水的家人與錯愕的社會。當大家同聲大力譴責兇嫌手段兇殘之時，我們可曾想到社會開放之下，過去的道德規範不再，有多少年輕人徬徨在錯綜複雜的男女關係中，無所適從，甚至走上絕路。
近日來有機會與許多優秀青年討論到交友與婚姻問題，很驚訝的發現這些陽光開朗忠厚善良的未婚青年竟然每個人都有一篇篇慘痛的戀愛故事，雖然每個故事不同，但幾乎每個人都是認真用心的與女友交往數年，但最後卻被女友狠狠拋下，這些傷心痛苦的年輕人，除了不解為何有情卻換來無情，他們失去對年輕女性的信任，甚至偏激的覺得看似天使的女性其實是惡魔。有的人自責，有的想報復，有的想改變心態開始玩世不恭，有的想霸王硬上弓，奉子成婚，生米煮成熟飯。不管他們只是口頭說說，還是會實際行動，這些感情受創的年輕人讓人看了心疼，也更擔心日趨複雜的兩性關係會造成更多社會問題。
由於社會開放，女性自有意識提升，她們努力去追求自己的最愛，但在追求的過程中，她們可能讓交往的男性友人誤以為自己是他心目中的唯一，但事實又並非如此。當有些女性展現她們的魅力吸引許多男性同時拜倒裙下，她們可能忽略了人與人之間的交往應該是平等互信，而不是用過即丟。
情人看刀是最令人不願見到的戀情結局，更何況有些根本還只是單戀，連男女朋友都還談不上，大家把表錯情會錯意的戀情歸納到宅男宅女心態，但事實真是如此嗎？如何保護我們的年輕人，不要讓他們人生還未起步就變調，如何可以從這個悲劇中學習到功課？應該是這次媒體鋪天蓋地的報導更重要的意義。
Learning From A Tragedy
A thirty-year-old man who studied in Japan killed two young lovely women because he suspected one of them cheated him to date other men. He committed suicide shortly after the murder. This tragedy was widely reported in the media because all those three young people were assumed to have a promising future. Unfortunately, three lives were gone and three families were ruined suddenly. When people harshly blamed the killer for his brutal action, they overlooked something serious hidden underneath this event. It was not the first case happened recently. It seems that our young generation are very confused with the relations between men and women. They are lost in seeking their Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Recently I had some opportunities to talk with many young bachelors about love and marriage. It was quite surprising to hear that almost everyone had very sad love stories. Those talented and well-rounded young men told me sadly that no matter how sincerely they treated their relations with their girl friends, the girls just walked out of their life when the girls found someone else to enjoy. Those heart-broken young men couldn’t understand why their girl friends could be so cold-blooded and just turned their back to them. They begged the girls to stay, no help. They pleaded the girls for giving them another chance, no help. They blamed themselves for not being good enough for they lost their girls to other men. The anger and bitterness swallowed them up. Finally they lost their trust and respects to women and even accused them as devils. Some talked about how to get even when they could date other girls again. Some talked about sleeping around because they assumed most women were bitches. Some talked about making the women pregnant so they had no choice but just marry them. No matter what silly action they talked about or they might even take, they made me feel chilly. It is very sad to see all those young intelligent men get so wrong about women.
Taiwan has changed from a very conservative society to an open one. The feminists strongly advocate their rights in everything which includes open relations with men. Biologically, it is very easy for women to seduce men. When women fool around, they make all her men feel they are her only true love. Unfortunately, it is not true. Usually when men found out that they were cheated, they wanted to take revenge and tragedy happened. Naturally, young beautiful outgoing women take upper hand in the relations with men who are shy and square, they are spoiled by all her admirers. However, they forget that people are born equally and they should not take advantage of any men who treat them like princess.
Killing your own sweetheart is an unforgivable crime, not to mention about killing someone who is not even serious about the relations. Usually people assume those tragedies are caused by people who are introvert and withdrawn. They believe that those people are extremely jealous and sensitive so they cannot stand seeing their sweetheart meeting other people. However, it is not true indeed. This tragedy has worried many parents and young people in Taiwan. Should we learn from this tragedy to avoid more devastating events happening continuously? Should we help young generation understand how to treat their admirers fairly? Or should we just look at this tragedy like watching a soap opera?
